The Low-Hanging Fruit Chronicles: A Masterclass in Charismatic Stoogery

What passes for "statecraft" in the 21st century AD is where geriatric toddlers play on their X accounts without adult supervision.

Trump, ever the opportunist, can often be found 'ly(ay)ing' under the nearest apple tree, eyeing the low-hanging fruit."

Guest Blog by Aurora Quill

It’s a little-known fact that the phrase “low-hanging fruit” was coined specifically for a certain president. While others might see it as a metaphor for taking the easy route, he saw it as a life philosophy. Why climb the tree when you can pluck the fruit dangling right in front of your face? Why aim for nuance when a quick jab will do?

Picture this: a golden orchard, ripe with opportunities for meaningful discourse and complex problem-solving. But there he is, basket in hand, gleefully gathering the easiest pickings. “This is the best fruit,” he declares, holding up a bruised apple. “Nobody picks fruit like I do. Believe me.”

And let’s not forget his other toddler-esque tendencies. The tantrums, the name-calling, the insistence that he’s the best at everything—even when the evidence suggests otherwise. It’s as if the playground politics of kindergarten never quite wore off. “I’m not crying, you’re crying!” he’d shout, as tears of frustration streamed down his face.

But perhaps we’re being too harsh. After all, there’s a certain genius in his approach. Why waste time on the hard stuff when you can distract everyone with shiny, low-hanging distractions? Why solve problems when you can just point fingers and shout, “Fake news!”

In the end, the low-hanging fruit isn’t just a metaphor—it’s a strategy, a lifestyle, a legacy. And while the rest of us are busy climbing the tree, he’s already moved on to the next orchard, basket in hand, ready to pluck the easiest pickings once again.

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